On Generosity

Last Wednesday, I began taking a one-month course at the Insight Meditation Center in downtown Manhattan. I was interested in deepening my formal meditation practice, and intrigued by vipassana meditation, the meditative tradition of Theravada Buddhism, the oldest and most traditional form of Buddhism. While I do not identify as Buddhist, I think meditation is an important tool, regardless of our religious and philosophical background, to cultivate mindfulness in our everyday life. This reminds me: mindfulness is actually in the title of this blog, so I might as well explain what that means to me. To paraphrase Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness is essentially moment-to-moment, non-judgemental, openhearted awareness. Which means? In terms of living here in the city, it is the challenge of being open and alive in each moment, without placing judgement on what we see around us or feel within us. And it's incredibly important for city-dwellers to cultivate in particular, given that we are in a world of sensory bombardment, advertisement, persuasion, temptation, and are often too busy to even know where we are, or even what we are doing and why. When I am running to a meeting after downing my breakfast in two seconds and drowning the noise out with my Ipod and thinking about what so-and-so said to me last week, where am I?

Lost.

So, mindfulness is important, and meditation is a tool to get more mindful more often, so why not draw from a tradition that has been studying this tool for ages.

All this said, when I arrived at the first session, the instructor, actually a woman trained by Kabat-Zinn named Elaine Retholtz, explained that we Westerners are getting ahead of ourselves trying to meditate. Apparently, when you study in Sri Lanka or Thailand, where Theravada is prevalent these days, they won't teach you to meditate for years. Instead, you sit around being told to contemplate deeply your intention to meditate, and, more imporantly, the concept of generosity.

This is fascinating to me, since often I find myself walking around the city, saying, "Be present, you have to be mindful, don't judge the situation, look at it with an open mind, be loving, be kind..." And all of these statements are about what I cultivate within myself, aimed at, what? Too often, at my betterment. At my happiness, contentment, even my sanity.

Yet, if you think about it, all those qualities- not judging, being present, being open and loving and kind- can also be looked at in a different way. Done right, it is for the betterment of others. I give my open mind to their perspective, and make them feel more at home in their world. I give them my ear for comfort, my time, for companionship, my love, for their wellbeing. Everything I do can be seen in this light, and sure, it benefits me, too, but also the woman selling me mangos on Flatbush Avenue, and the guy checking out books to me at the Brooklyn Public Library, and my husband when he comes home from a long, stressful day of work. By being mindful and happy myself, I bring that ever-needed sense of presence and belonging to the inhabitants of New York City.

It was an extraordinary lecture, to shortend it, and I highly recommend taking a course, going to a daylong retreat, or attending a lecture or sitting group at the Insight Meditation Center. You don't have to be Buddhist to practice meditation, so I invite you and encourage you to explore and use this wonderful tool, to be more alive and more happy, and therefore, shed light and happiness on the bustling, stressed, underslept, over-worked, starving-for-love world around you.

The Insight Meditation Center is located on 28 West 27th Street (10th floor). Go to http://nyimc.org/ to view the upcoming events there.